Archive for ‘ultimatum’

30 August 2012

Why sextherapy?

It often happens that one of both partner is a little bit dissatisfied in his relationship for any sorts of reasons:

  • Too many arguments
  • Not enough sexuality
  • Too many sexual demands on behalf of the spouse
  • Disappearance of  sexual desire
  • Too many disappointments
  • Financial troubles
  • Boredom, routine, etc.

When there is an attempt to discuss the situation, the conversation does not end in tangible solutions and the dissatisfaction remains.

Some may suggest to go to sex therapy together but the partner does not want. He might say:

  • We are capable of solving our  problems
  • I do not want that a third person learn our story
  • I do not want be argued by two persons
  • Its not that bad…

There are several categories of couples which consult in sex therapy, for exemple:

  • There are the new couples without children who want help to improve their sexuality or the quality of their relationship
  • There are the couples with young children who are taken in their obligations and forget themselves
  • There are the couples which made a success of their professional life and which find themselves after 25, 35 years of common life wanting to end a lifelong status quo and finally,
  • there are couples which consult but which dont want to change nothing.

During the first meeting in sex therapy, the couples often are uncomfortable, they are a little ashamed to have to ask for help and they can even feel as they betray the other one by expressing their dissatisfaction.

Sex therapy demands a lot of courage and willingness from both partners. The couple often arrive in a state of crisis and it is often one of the status quo. Not telling what one really wants, think, like or dislike because it seems that nothing will be considered. Couple often seek help when an ultimatum is launched.

This crisis, even if it can be  extremely difficult,  remains often beneficial for the relationship.

A sex therapist can  guide you in this process where you can talk about your relationship difficulties as well as your sexual worries.

(C) Mériza Joly

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